Never Split the Difference … Really?
“Sooner or later in life, we will all take our own turn being in the position we once had someone else in.” – Ashly Lorenzana
As I made my way through a bookstore recently, I saw the title of a book that read …
“Never Split the Difference. Negotiating as if your life depended on it.”
To be fair with the author, I have not read the book, but the title alone is one that runs counter to my line of thinking.
I’m also smart enough to know that the title of the book is intended to catch one’s attention as it did mine.
However, the mindset of getting the best of the other party is one I find counterproductive both in personal and business matters.
Zero Compromise
There was a time when I felt that getting the rock bottom price in any negotiation was a must, even when I knew the seller would fail to earn much of a profit, if any.
After graduating business school in 1990, I had the mentality that if the terms did not meet my clear expectations, I needed to walk away. In fact, I remember certain deals falling through when I failed to give in even just a little bit.
The problem with a zero-compromise attitude is that we are thinking only about ourselves. We are not open to a middle ground, one that will appease both parties.
Getting to the Middle
As a business owner for a very long time, I’ve learned the importance of looking at negotiations from a holistic approach.
Yes … This does mean I want the other party to make a profit. In fact, I want to work with companies or people who are running successful operations.
Why?
Think about it … If we make a deal with someone and they are unhappy about the outcome, how likely are they to provide follow-up service when needed?
You are right! They are going to be quite unhappy, and we will be their last priority. The other key point here is that we will fail to build a loyal relationship.
In other words, our deal is merely a transaction.
Thinking Long-term
When I negotiate deals today, I like to be transparent with the other party. For example, I am pretty clear with what I can afford and what is beyond my means.
I am aware that some level of negotiation will take place, but I am also interested in building a working relationship with others.
A few years ago, we had a small business owner build a patio at our home. We negotiated a fixed-price contract, and a week into the work, he realized the bid was too low.
He approached me and asked if I would consider paying 20% to cover the rising cost of the materials. This work took place at the beginning of the Covid pandemic, and the supply chain costs were increasing.
At first, I thought about this situation like the title of the book … Never split the difference!
However, I had known this business owner for a few years, and he had worked on many small projects for us. I still remember the day he showed up on a Sunday afternoon to work on our faulty fire alarm system.
After thinking about it for just a few minutes, I agreed to the 20% increase. Since that day, he has completed many additional projects at our home, and we have a terrific working relationship.
In short, I believe in agreements where both parties win, and this means I oftentimes split the difference, and I feel good about it.
Inspiring Quotes
“Being good is easy, what is difficult is being just.” – Victor Hugo
“Fairness does not mean everyone gets the same. Fairness means everyone gets what they need.” – Rick Riordan
Homework Inquiry
During the next week, here’s your homework inquiry: How will you show fairness to others?
I use this opportunity to share with you a unique story and a couple inspiring quotes. Oh ... as a professor at heart, you guessed it, I have a homework inquiry for you. This is a powerful question that might just trigger you to take action on something that really matters in your life. If you feel the Catalyst Newsletter brings benefit to you.